The 411

Okay... now that the introduction to my new blog is over, we'll get down to business. As many of you know, I've been struggling with major medical issues for the past two years. In the spring of 2004, my right ear plugged up and I could not seem to get it to pop open. I had the bright idea to try using an ear candle to clean out my ear. I drove all the way to a health food store and bought some ear candles and convinced my good friend Jacquie to help me in this endeavor. We rigged up a paper plate between my ear and the candle and lit the fire. I had my head over the Rost's kitchen sink when Scott walked in. He just looked at us, shook his head, and I think mumbled something like "Umm...uh....kid... that's probably not safe." A few minutes later my hair was in flames and my ear lobe was scalded. The following Monday I ended up at the Ear, Nose, and Throat doctor.

Dr. Kletzing did some tests and decided there was no real damage to my hear; however, he took one look at my nose, declared that I had a deviated septum, and I was scheduled for surgery a month later. In June of 2004, Dr. Kletzing performed the septoplasty (basically they break your nose bone and re-set it so that it is no longer crooked) and removed my tonsils. I recuperated while eating popsicles and floating in the Hammontree's pool. (It was all fine and until, despite strict orders not to get water up my nose, I fell off the raft).

Even though my breathing seemed to get better, my ear did not. I continued to experience pain and hearing loss in my right ear coupled with severe infections, and Dr. Kletzing referred me to an allergist. She was concerned about my ear infections because she didn't think she could figure out the source of my "system problem" until those cleared up. In July of 2005, she performed a CT Scan of my sinuses which came back normal. No one could figure out why my ears were not clearing up. Frustrated and in pain, I called my family doctor to get a referral to a new ENT.

Dr. Press started by treating my right ear with different combinations of ear drops and antibiotics. When this didn't clear up the infection, she put a tube in my right ear. The infections continued and seemed to get worse. Then, about a month ago, I started to experience pain in my neck and it hurt to chew and swallow. Doctor Press ordered another CT Scan. A week later she called to tell me that it came back abnormal. About a week later , I went in for an MRI of my brain. I waited and waited for the results. Last Monday Dr. Press called to say that the results were in. Jacquie drove me to the office and we sat and laughed while we waited for the doctor to come in. Dr. Press walked in with the opening line of "I don't know how to tell you this..." and we both sat with jaws dropped as Dr. Press explained that there was a huge mass in my nasal pharynx. Dr. Press ordered some blood work and scheduled me for a biopsy the next morning. Last Tuesday I had a piece of this mass removed and sent for testing. I was angry -- Not only did this dumb woman cut into my throat, but she totally interrupted my Chicago shopping trip.

The last week has been excruciating. Waiting for test results just sucks. I called on Monday and found out that my doctor had decided to go on vacation to California. Okay... so now I'm supposed to sit and panic about my life while you're off surfing in Malibu? I continued to call the office, and when I finally used the phrase "medically negligent" they began paging her in California.

I decided to leave school during my prep period yesterday. I just couldn't relax and wanted to get out of the building. I went over to Karl & Danielle's. I laid on the couch while Danielle played with my hair. I got a page from the doctor. The receptionist told me that Dr. Press had flown in from California and wanted to see me at 11:30. We called Karl and Danielle drove me to the office. Dr. Press came in and, in keeping with all integrity and mercy of the Hippocratic Oath, tried a new opening phrase, "So, by now you've probably figured out it's not good."

So here's the 411 for all of you: My official diagnosis is Atypical Adenoid Cystic Carcinoma. It is a rare form of cancer that usually starts in the adenoids. Mine is atypical because it is located in a different position. It starts at the top of my throat and is growing up through my sinus cavity and extends a little into my middle ear Dr. Press is concerned about the size and location of the tumor; however, she admits that she is definitely not an expert. Some of you have been hearing things like "it's already stage 4" or "it is inoperable" Both of these statements are a little misleading. Dr. Press is worried that the cancer is advanced because of its size. This is a slow-growing cancer, and because my mass is very large, she fears it has been growing for awhile now. She also told me that she thought just operating and removing the tumor would not work. This is not because there is no hope of getting it out, but simply because it is located in a tricky spot. The tumor is very near all the nerves in my face and cutting into it could cause permanent damage making me unable to chew, swallow, smile, etc.

On Monday I will be going to Rush Memorial Hospital in Chicago and meeting with Dr. Panje who is a specialist in this area (he is even mentioned by name in the doctor referral section of the ACC's (Adenoid Cystic Carcinoma) website. Of course, I am scared and nervous, but more than anything I just want to get this thing out of my face.

I'm sure the vicious rumor mill of Memorial High School has me impregnated with twins, completely bald, or in the casket already. I wanted all of you to have firsthand information from me so that you would know the facts. Now, here is the message I want all of you to really hear: I listen to kids' problems all day long. I tell them over and over again that so much of who we are is not what we go through, but how we react to it. Yeah, your life might totally and completely suck. Your dad can get locked up or walk out of your life, but you are the one to decide if all your problems -- past and present -- take your future. I absolutely refuse to sit and mope and cry about this. I have cancer. It is now a fact of my life. But, if you know me, you know that I am a fighter. I have a 16 year-old daughter who needs me. I have 30 kids sitting in a success period that I hound about homework, grades, boyfriends, and their sometimes shitty attitudes about school or life in general. I have worked my ass off so that I can see them graduate (remember... I will hunt you down and kill you if you get pregnant or drop out). I have a volleyball team that I fully expect to see go to Indianapolis, slaughter Muncie Burris, and win state. These are only a few of the many things I have to live for.

I will continue to update this blog. Please check in to get the facts. Leave me comments. I will try to respond to as many of them as possible. I appreciate all the support, encouragement, and prayers!