In No Real Hurry

I have not yet called Dr. Vokes, the head/neck cancer specialist the Goshen team recommends. I found some good information about him online, but it does not appear to me as if he is a base of skull surgeon. Alysia got some good information about him from the Rare Cancer Alliance. I'm still waiting to hear back from Dr. Luu and the team in California. They are going to try to determine from the scans whether it is disease or scar tissue. My gut tells me they will not have a definitive answer either, but Dr. Luu has already said he has a recommended surgeon for me. In the meantime, I'm really not in such a hurry. I've gleaned from everyone that I will likely be having a major surgery and it is probably worth my time to really research the surgeons. Meanwhile, several people have recommended some alternative therpaies such as colonics (removing toxins from the body) and acupuncture. I was a little skeptical about acupuncture for spritiual reasons (I've heard great feedback about the treatment itself). I stumbled upon a referral to an acupucnturist and it turns out that he is a 7th Day Adventist (Loma Linda is the biggest 7th Day Adventist facility in the U.S.) and a true Christian. He basically went on record and told me that he sensed God wanted me to be healed. He also told me that he felt that, between the colonics and the acupuncture, my face could return to normal within two months without any surgery at all. I've already had two treatments -- no marked changes at this point, but I'm hopeful.

My symptoms -- particularly problems with my equilibrium -- have been intensifying over the last few days (I did not disclose all of this in the last blog because it had just started and I did not want to worry anyone (including myself) prematurely). I have passed out/blacked out three times (two times in the shower when I was already sweaty and overheated from the steroids and the addition of the hot shower water seemed to put me over the edge) and again today when I was leaving Dr. Press's office. I did not actually fall down, rather I ened up getting myself onto the ground just before the fall. I waited it out for 10 minutes or so and was fine.

I am definitely stumbling around everywhere when I walk, tripping over things, and I have had to brace myself/sit down on several occasions to prevent myself from passing out. Despite all these amazing signs from God, I was starting to get pretty worried about this -- if I'm in this condition, I shouldn't be driving, living alone, etc. My only consolation was the fact that I've had some pretty intense ear pain lately and thought maybe there was a chance my ear is infected (the last few times I've had it looked at, it has been filled with fluid, but no sign of disease. Dr. Press worked me into her schedule today, and she is pretty convinced I've got an infection. She took a culture to be certain, but she also went ahead and put me on the antiobiotics. I started my first dose this evening. Pray that once the infection clears up, my equilibrium will stabilize and return to normal.

Another area where we (Corlissa and I) could use prayer relates to this crazy housing opportunity we've stumbled upon. Ultimaely, I feel like I am just throwing money away in an apartment. I could afford a small, modest house for the same monthly payment. I just have not felt good about the prospect of locking into a mortgage considering the uncertainty of my health. Furthermore, if I were to move, I'd want to be in a house that had long-term possibilities. I could not afford a mortgage on that type of house right now (I'm looking at a significant raise when I get my master's in the fall, though). Anyway...Jacquie(Rost) told me about this crazy housing opportunity. All signs point to the fact that God might have led us to this. She has a friend who purchased a house to "flip", but since the market slowed down, ended up losing money on the deal. He lowered the purchase price significantly (almost $20,000 less than it's appraised value), but it still hasn't sold. He's now making two mortgage payments and losing additional money every month. In an effort to re-coup his loss, the man is interested in selling the property on land contract but is still willing to take the lower purchase price. I put in a phone call to him shortly after I heard about the house. As it turns out, there is another girl that was likely going to buy on land contract, but she really could not afford the payment for the first year. Marti (the homeowner) was going to negotiate and let her pay a rental payment for the first year with the agreement that she would be able to assume the entire mortgage at the end of the first year. When Marti found out I was interested he responded by saying that he heard my name and just felt like he needed to talk things through with me before forging ahead with this other girl. I've been to the house three times since our first conversation. My parents have both been there. Basically, everyone feels there is pretty much no way I can go wrong with this deal. It is in move-in condition and would not even need to be painted in order to be livable. The only financial expense I'd want to make fairly quickly would be furniture for the basement (it is huge and finished and would be our primary living space). I'd keep what we're using in the apartment as the furniture for the formal living room upstairs. That expense is not immediate; however, it would be really nice to be able to use that space downstairs as quickly as possible. The yard is a mess (we would need to re-seed or lay new sod in the spring), but most of it is just manual labor -- raking, tree/branch removal, etc. The only drawback to this whole deal is the fact that Corlissa and I finally feel like we've settled into this apartment -- her room is decorated, we've got everything in its proper place. The idea of packing up, cleaning a new place, working on a yard, making decorative choices -- perhaps as soon as next week, is a little daunting. It seems like just yesterday we called in favors from every Memorial coach and all my friends' husbands :) (God Love you all!) The decision should be made by the end of the week. Please pray that I make the right one. I have a real sense of peace aboout this house and all signs point to the fact that God had a hand in bringing us the opportunity. It's still a big, intimidating decision, tough. Oh... I forgot to mention the most appealing thing about the house: It is within walking distance of the Rosts's. This is good for me socially as I spend a good chunk of my time there. More importantly, it puts me in close proximity to someone close should I ever need medical help, have an emergency with the house or would be convenient in the event that I had to be gone for a few weeks for surgery. Corlissa could probably just stay alone with the Rosts that close by.

As you can see, my steroids are still in full effect. I truly appreciate those of you who are praying for sleep. I want you to know that I feel your prayers are being answered. I've been sleeping off and on closer to 6 hours a night. A huge improvement from the 4:30 am - 6:30 am night routine I was on :) I seem to have reverted back to my old ways for this evening, but I can also tell that my body wants to sleep... I'm simply not cooperating becasue I have a lot of things I think I need to get done (think being the operative) and I'm really hungry for an omellette right now.

I so appreciate all of you who are faitful readers and prayers!