Give Me this Computer or Give Me Death!

I officially suck at setting boundaries. I will tell you, however, that this short blog entry might be responsible for saving my life. Right now I am wide awake and have a major compulsion to cook breakfast. However, I am well aware that if I do so, there is a good chance my life will be ended by a usually-very-docile girl who definitely can turn "ghetto" on a dime. Instead of dying, I am writing to you.

I really wish first period started at 5:00 a.m. I'm ready to teach right now. We're about to start the chapter in Mockingbird where Scout kicks her cousin's butt for trash-talking her dad. I have a strong affinity for tomboys. It reminds me of my days in Wakarusa, hanging out with my best friends (twin boys) and wreaking havoc on a town slower than its maple syrup.

I have been reading the comments you all are leaving faithfully. Can people please stop being totally and completely anonymous? Please at least embed some clue as to your identity. I've even begun to respond back to some of your comments, so make sure you check that out.

Alright, I wanted to make a quick guide for those of you who are reading the blog and comments faithfully. Many of you have mentioned how much you love reading what the students write, therefore I am assuming that they are easily identifiable. Students, on the other hand, I think you are reading comments and not entirely sure who is writing. You have been introduced to virtually all these people via our conversations in the classroom, but here is the VIP Key I've made to help you out:

Alysia = The sister who is four years younger than me. She is the one who lives in Nappanee and is working so hard on all my insurance stuff. We've talked about her and her crazy race-car driving husband, Tory.

Anne = She's the sister who just moved to Indy. She's married to Joel. She must be busy working in the pharmacy, exploring her new town, and honing her skills as a photographer because she is not commenting on here. She's eight years younger than me. I teach English, so you'll have to do the math. I think that makes her 23?

"Crock" or kellymoses = One of my closest friends and rommates from Bethel. Don't ever believe the crap people tell you about how you won't keep in touch with friends from high school and college. Our relationship is evidence to the contrary. Oh yeah, I think you will also know her as my friend who lives in Japan. Her husband is in the Air Force (Don't get confused, though. This not the same friend whose husband we drove to see jump out of the plane on that crazy road trip to Georgia).

Lorischuster = If I someone were to ask me whom I most wanted to be like when I grow up, it would take me all of five seconds to respond with her Lori's name. We've talked about her a lot. Her amazing daugther, Ali, died of cancer last March. She's packed up and started a new life for herself in Grand Rapids and lives with a pretty dang cool roommate, her oldest daugter Megan who is a freshman in college. She dates this really cool and sexy famous photographer dude. He reminds me of Richard Gere in the movie Pretty Woman. It is one of my secret goals in life to get close enough to really smell him.

Sandi or Sleak = My grandma who lives in Florida. She does not look like a grandma. She does not act like a typical grandma. Don't picture her baking cookies in her apron. She looks a little like Mrs. Clarke (the art teacher). Picture Mrs. Clarke with a golf club in one hand and a beer in the other....That's my grandma.

Schmanny = Danielle Lugbill Black. Her husband is Pastor Karl. This is the family I lived with for four years. They make regular appearances in this story, as do their kids Brady, Kole, and Owen, I'm not even going to end that sentence in a period. I'm just leaving the comma because there is a large chance we could add a fourth name to that list before I post this blog (Don't start spreading rumors there is a fourth Black kid on the way....I'm only joking about her fertility). Sometimes Danielle stops in school (she's a Memorial grad and brings the kids for the morning daycare program) and then I have to listen to eight million boys talk about how hot she is and how much she does not look like a mom.

Snoop Dogg = Jeremy Lugbill. Danielle's little brother, who is like a brother to me. He went to Concord High School, won over a whole bunch of girls with his good looks and athetlicism, took off for Azusa Pacific University on a football scholarship and left all the ladies in Indiana heartbroken -- except one. Despite a few long-distance hang-ups, some games, and a minor stint where playing poker with the boys took precidence, he stuck it out with his girlfriend since 8th grade, Kristin Conn. Now, they are getting married on a yacht in Newport, CA this summer.

Cary = Sometimes I think we were twins separated at birth save for the fact that we look nothing alike. She lives in Indy with her husband Dave. There is a good chance I will be staying with them a lot in the next few weeks. She hasn't been commenting much because she's super busy. In fact, in a little over a week she will graduate with her master's degree in school counseling! I'm so proud of her!

Patrice, Baker, and Colleen, and Kendall are also commenting a lot. I don't have to describe them to you because you guys already know them. Patrice is Mrs. Owens/Mrs. Weil. Colleen is Miss Jurkaites/Mrs. Shook (I have to use the slashes because I don't know what name you know them by....it also serves as a reminder that I am like the only person in our department who has not gotten married in the last year. I think I'm going to pull a Brittney Spears and elope just so that they have to throw me a shower and buy me a gift). Baker is Ms. Baker and Kendall is Ms. Kendall. I have the most awesome and supportive co-workers! There are some other amazing ones that I'll introduce if they ever start writing.

Okay... now we can add "Flash" to the list of teachers above. I wasn't sure if she wanted to remain anonymous, but it sounds like she's cool with having her identity revealed. "Flash" is none other than Mrs. (Caryn) Fish, math teacher at EMHS. We work pretty closely together because she also teaches the block and has a bunch of my everyday English kids in her everyday Pre-Algebra class. (What that means is they whine to her about how mean I am and whine to me about how mean she is and they think we won't rat out specific names of whiners, but they have no clue what we talk about on prep period). Also, she was Corlissa's math teacher last year. When things got tough for Ru, Mrs. Fish commented, "You know, I've been thinking. I would take her, but we live in Michigan on a farm and she'd be miserable there" (that is a not an exact quote, but the sentiment is the same). At that point, I was still deliberating about what to do. I'm not sure if she knows it, but her comment kind of sealed the deal. I definitely sensed something different in Corlissa, but I've been wrong before and I was surely scared that I could do this whole thing only to have it blow up in my face. Anyway, her comment basically signified to me that I wasn't wrong -- someone else sees this in her too. Suffice it to say, Ms. Fish and Ru have built a pretty great relationship and Mrs. Fish is one person that I know Corlisas knows has her back!

That should cover it for now. The list is not comprehensive -- I simply listed the people that might not be easy to identify by their blogspot name. Check back for additions to the list and remember....you're all VIPs to me!