DOL Ain't (oops...Isn't) Dead!

Dear Students:

First of all, I want you to know that I sincerely and deeply appreciate all of the heart-felt comments you are leaving on my blog. Many of my friends and relatives have mentioned that reading your comments is one of their favorite aspects of this online journal.

While I definitely want you to keep writing and commenting (hey...if the right people in Elkhart Community Schools read this thing, I might even get a pay raise), we have a major issue to resolve: Those readers who are viewing your comments have asked me if I ever taught you sentence structure, spelling, and grammar. Apparently, they are wondering if I really am such a good teacher since your blog comments show no evidence of growth in writing mechanics.

Now... we both know that one of the main lessons I have taught you this year is writing for your audience. Who are you writing to? What is your purpose? Will this be graded? If so, how? Is this a formal task or an informal one? You have learned to adjust your writing accordingly. I think this is one of the most important aspects of writing. Okay...now you know and I know that commenting on someone's blog qualifies as an informal writing task. I would lump this type of writing into the same category as emailing or text messaging. I want you all to have peace in your hearts. I am definitely NOT circling commas or grading your comments. I have not intentions of doing so ever. In fact, I'm pretty sure there was some mention of grading on the warning label of my prescription for Vicodin or Dilaudid or Decadron (or one of the numerous other drugs I'm hyped up on).

In order to save my reputation and the reputation or Elkhart Memorial High School, however, I feel like I need to institute a new student comment policy. I have officially declared the next four days "Formal Comment Only" days on my blog. Between now and Tuesday, you must show these anal retentive readers that you can, in fact, adhere to the guidelines of the English language. Write to me as if you were writing a letter. Check your capitalization, spelling, comma use. Be sure you keep your tense consistent. Maybe you could even show these nerds a semicolon or two. That will teach them a lesson!

If you all love and miss me as much as you say you do, I trust you will be willing to make this sacrifice for me. Hopefully, like us, my readers will come to their senses and realize that blogging is not remotely similar to essay-writing and leave us both alone. Through the major improvement in your DOLs over the semester, you've all proven yourselves to me. Let's just humor these readers and show them that what we're capable of.

I'll keep reviewing your comments (although, you might fight yours deleted if you don't follow the new formal-commenting policy and continue to slander my good name). Provided you step up to the plate and re-establish our reputations, the ban will be lifted on Tuesday!

Thanks in advance for your cooperation,
Miss Hepler