Nothing to Lose -- Redux

Monday, July 31, 2006

So Close I Can Almost Taste It....

Monday is nearly over. That is probably good news for all you readers out there, but for me, that news is terrific.

As a lovely friend pointed out, when I wake up tomorrow I will cut the number of days I have to spend in this God-forsaken state in half!

I cannot wait to wake up on Wednesday morning. It will be the last morning I ever have to wake up in this place. I'm so anxious, but I am forcing myself to wait to pack until tomorrow afternoon.

Time went by as rapidly as could be expected this weekend. We worked hard to occupy the minutes. On Friday Andrea (Helmuth) came over and went to lunch with my mom and I. Then, we all packed up in her Camry (it felt good to ride in one again) and headed to Hollywood. We saw some tourist attractions and took a 2-hour tour of celebrity homes. The houses were pretty cool, but at this point, if given a choice between a 56 million dollar home in California and a one bedroom apartment in Indina, I'd probably choose Indiana (unless I was able to sell the California property and use it to buy the entire city of Nappanee).

Saturday we went to a movie with Kristin and Sunday we went to Mosaic Church in Pasadena with Jeremy, out to lunch, and then to dinner and another movie in the evening with Jeremy and Kristin.

There is little else to report. The machine worked fine this morning (this is the first Monday in three weeks it has not been down). So... thanks to all of you who are praying. Keep the prayers coming!

Friday, July 28, 2006

LAST FULL WEEK OF TREATMENT IS OVER!

Yipee! Need I say more?

P.S - Keep the prayers for the machine and the time to go by quickly (especially this weekend) coming!

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Specific Prayer Request

Hi everyone...Well, I am starting to be able to see the light at th end of the tunnel. That is definitely a good thing; however, it is making me really antsy.

Thanks to everyone who said a prayer for the machine on Monday. It came back up and I was able to get treated.

My mom has just returned and she will be staying with me until we both fly back home next week. That brings up another MAJOR prayer request. We went ahead and booked out tickets today. Please pray that the machine cooperates and we are able to get all treatments between now and next Wednesday. Wednesday will be a big day to pray because we will need to leave straight from treatment to comfortably make our flight.

Also, pray that the time goes by quickly. Right now every single hour seems to be lasting a day. This is really true on weekends. Most of you are thinking, "It must be nice to have a couple days break from treatment." In all actuality, weekends crawl by because those are just days that I am not counting down treatments.

Thanks again for everyone who is supporting me in prayer.

Monday, July 24, 2006

Down Again Part II

I just took Holly back from a long weekend visit. Well...actually, we drove all the way to Loma Linda because there should have been time for me to get my treatment in and then take her to Ontario airport. Unfortunately, the gantry (the machine that treats me) is down again.

They told me to go ahead and take her to the airport and go home and wait for them to call me. I just called to check in. The machine is still down. Everyone who is reading this, please, please pray that it goes back up and stays up so that I can get treated today. I cannot bear the thought of adding another day onto my stay here. I need this machine to pull through for the next week and a half for me!

Down Again

I just took Holly back from a long weekend visit. Well...actually, we drove all the way to Loma Linda because there should have been time for me to get my treatment in and then take her to Ontario airport. Unfortunately, the gantry (the machine that treats me) is down again.

They told me to go ahead and take her to the airport and go home and wait for them to call me. I just called to check in. The machine is still down. Everyone who is reading this, please, please pray that it goes back up and stays up so that I can get treated today. I cannot bear the thought of adding another day onto my stay here. I need this machine to pull through for the next week and a half for me!

Monday, July 17, 2006

More Resigned than this Title Can Convey

I just re-read my mom's blog. I think she pretty much hit the nail on the head. I am resigned and just putting one foot in front of the other. There is nothing I want more than to just pack up my stuff and come home. Words cannot convey how strongly I want that last sentence.

I just have to say that this whole thing totally and completely sucks.

Friday, July 14, 2006

Resigned

This is Ashli's mom, Perri, reporting from California. I know that it comforts us to picture Ashli not really on a vacation, but in a cheerier picture than life as she experiences it here. If she had much energy or interest in eating, there are things here she could enjoy, but at this point I think that she is just surviving the monotony of the endless treks to the hospital for treatments. The area where she is living is "nice", but I agree that green mountains would be more attractive. The drive to the hospital mostly consists of smog coated road signs, a lot of traffic moving quickly, or crawling, and a lovely landfill beside a railroad yard that goes on for quite a distance. I have the feeling that she has hit a wall. It is like a marathoner (not that I have had any personal experience with that) who has hit the spot where all he is doing is continuing to put one foot in front of the other. The end may be getting closer, but it is out around the bend and the finish line is not in sight. He's not sure if he can continue to run for the entire race, but he numbly continues on. Or it is like a pregnant woman who knows intellectually that there is a baby in there, and that the discomfort and pain will come to an end, but it feels as if it will last forever and maybe the doctors have made a mistake and a watermelon seed taken root in there, and there really is no baby for all of this trouble. Ashli only has one wish; and that is for all of this to be over, and for her to be able to come home. These are the most important things for you to pray for her:
1. That the machine giving her treatments does not go down and cause her any more delay.
2. Most importantly that time passes as quickly as possible for her. The end is in sight for us, but not for her.
3. She is able to eat enough to get some nutrition and that the nausea goes away.
4. She feels God giving her the strength that she alone does not posess.
5. The treatment are a total success with the most minimal damage.
Ashli is resigned to being out of control; unable to go where she wants, do what she wants to do, and feel the way she would like to feel. However, Ashli has not resigned from the battle and has plans for her future. Intellectually, she knows that she will come through this with a new appreciation for home, family, friendship and God's grace. I am resigned to getting on that plan tomorrow without her. It goes against all of my motherly instincts. I want to pack her up in my suitcase (and she just might fit in there) and take her on my plane home to where she wants to go. However, that is not for her best, and who knows what havok we would cause with her radioactivity setting off all of the security alerts at LAX!

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Stuff

I couldn't think of a creative title for this blog as I do not yet know what I will be writing about. Therefore, I title it "Stuff" because I will probably be writing about a variety of topics.

First of all, I wish I could thank personally every single person who showed up in support of me/my family at the benefit on Saturday. Obviously this is not possible since I was not there and don't even know who all showed up. I must confess, up until this point I have remained completely silent about the benefit. I told Alysia and Steph that I pretty much wanted to be left out of the loop on it. I am pretty sure writing about the benefit on this blogsite would have made me a eertifiable beggar. Really, not writing about it was just a way to maintain some semblance of dignity in this whole thing. Since it's over (and I'm done "begging"), I feel free to write about it. I can tell you all that my family certainly felt overwhelmed with support from the variety of people who showed up. Forget the well-wishes and the financial support, it was just good to know that such a plethora of people are praying for us.

I cannot close this without talking a little about Stephanie, a.k.a. Steph, a.k.a. "Stiffy" to those closest to her. Steph and I go way back. All the way to middle school. She was "going with" the boy I was destined to marry. Suffice it to say, I hated her with a passion. We continued this tumultuous relationship all the way through high school (She maintains I was a judgmental "good girl". I that she was a bad-girl jock. I "prayed" for her regularly. Which, in the land of senior high youth group really translats to I "talked about" her regularly (unless, of course, you are a more mature "Christian" than I was). Anyway, after high school, Steph and I both ended up at Bethel College. She roomed with Jen Hunsberger, my long-time best friend, so we were forced to get along. After awhile, I think we both grew to find the other quite tolerable. So tolerable, in fact, we end up partnering in Shupe Dormintory's first-ever half-naked rollerblading expo. Okay, we were pretty much the only two in the expo and the other girls in the dorm didn't really appreciate it (especially Kelli and Mindy since we had to seek refuge under their covers when Janet Seeker came looking for us), but it was basically the only cutting-edge thing we could do without getting kicked out of BC.

Steph and I wound up living together for the remainder of our Bethel careers. I consoled her as she barfed over our Egle toilet because of the intensity of the pain from her ACL injury. She consoled me and helped me find refuge at the Staples' when we got kicked off campus for a week. Even though we haven't always stayed in touch as regularly as either of us would like, we're always able to pick up where we left off. I think that says something about a friend. For those of you who don't know, the idea of this whole benefit was birthed by Steph (and Eva, I think). Jacquie told me that, when she talked to Steph on Sunday, she said she felt like she had been "run over by a truck." I can relate to that. I worked so hard to organize the St. Mark Youth Group's Senior Banquet, that it took a full week for my mind and muscles to recover. So... Stiffy, I want you to know that I truly appreciate all your hard-work and effort. The fact that you would give so much of yourself for me is quite humbling.

Okay.. on to another topic. I really appreciate those of you who have been praying for my physical well-being. I must confess, however, there is one type of sickeness that far exceeds the effects of nauseau/vomiting. That, my friends, is homesickness . Although I have had a string of visitors, nothing compares to home. Nothing beats sleeping in your own bed, comforted by your own pillows, surrounded by your own smells. Everyone keeps telling me "only three more weeks...", but I just really want to come home now.

Friday, July 07, 2006

BENEFIT TOMORROW NIGHT!!!

This is your last reminder about the benefit tomorrow! My how the time has flown by. Ashli is half way through her treatment and we are hoping the benefit tomorrow night will be a success.

The benefit is tomorrow night (July 8th) from 5-7 pm for the dinner portion and from 7-10 pm for the band.

The benefit is at Dal Mar Catering Hall in Nappanee. Here are some basic directions for those of you coming from Elkhart/Mishawaka area.

-US 20 By-pass to SR 19 South
-SR 19 South all the way into Nappanee. (SR 19 & US 6)
-Continue South on SR 19.
-Turn left (East) at the next road which is Lincoln Street. Lincoln is just before the RR tracks.
-Dal Mar will be not even a half block down on your right side. There is an open parking lot on your left you can park in.

If anyone needs more specific directions, I would encourage you to mapquest it or give me a call 773-5348 is home or 354-0746. I am on vacation this week so am NOT checking email regularly.

Thanks again hope to see you all tomorrow!!!

Alysia

Monday, July 03, 2006

Excommunication

If the United States were a subdivision, California would be the annoying neighbor who doesn't take care of his lawn. You know, everything is always dead, brown, and dirty. I vote we have an association meeting and excommunicate Cali from the neighborhood.